An Update to Pandemic Journal’s Editorial Policy

“These are the times that try men’s souls.”

We’re kicking off today’s Pandemic Journal with some Thomas Paine, who in my not so humble opinion was writing not only about those who failed to take up arms in support of colonial rebellion, but who willfully looked the other way in the face of a growing crisis.

Those “summer soldier(s) and…sunshine patriot(s)” had the good sense to pour another drink and watch the carnage from a safe distance before cashing in on the clean-up. After swift and decisive deliberation, the Pandemic Journal editorial team has decided to follow this worthy model.

Starting today, our readers’ comfort is our north star. All editorial choices will be judged by how little they rock the boat, make waves, upset the apple cart, disturb the peace, or challenge the status quo. At this moment stonemasons are hard at work carving our new motto into the granite facade of our grand headquarters: It’s All Good.

Indeed, it’s all good and no one can tell us any different.

We sprang from the grand tradition of Jonathan Swift and Joseph Pulitzer. Pandemic Journal only punched up, and only in the service of comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable. But these are tired beliefs, and hugely unprofitable. We trust you share our enthusiasm about consigning them to the dustheap of history as we fanatically embrace whatever crazy or misguided beliefs reside in our readers’ noggins.

Current events are like a heavily rutted road, eroded after decades of neglect. As of today, Pandemic Journal is the ’78 Buick Regal of publishing, wallowing over the damage as our readers luxuriate in total comfort.

Enjoy the ride.