The ’08 edition of Bike Virginia (aka The Crooked Road Tour) was my third time on the ride, and the first time I decided to completely skip camping. I knew I would miss the long lines in front of the crowded shower trucks, but what the hell.
The tour started in Bristol, VA. We (John and I) rolled in Friday afternoon and found our way to the Midway Baptist Church for registration, where we picked up our red ride bracelets (red means "meat-eater"; it went splendidly with my black Harden The F*** Up bracelet), luggage transfer tags, and Chamois Butt’r sample. From there we checked in at the local Holiday Inn, which we scoped out in the hope of telling the difference between postmasters and cyclists, a task made harder by the fact that both factions seem to be armed to the teeth with cans of Halt.
We were on our own for dinner, so we caught a shuttle bus downtown, scavenged some food, watched the Holy Ghost Tent Revival for a while, and went back to the hotel for some rest.
The next morning we established a pattern that served us well for the entire ride. Sleep until 6:30, eat a leisurely breakfast, start late, then use our superior speed (at least compared to the feeble and lame) to overtake le peloton and arrive at dinner before all the food was gone. But on this first morning we made a brief stop at the Starbucks so I could fortify myself with a double espresso, made all the sweeter by waiting behind a high maintenance cyclist who had to have her drink steamed to a specific temperature. Trouble, I figured she was.
Day one was a super duper ride. Lots of rolling hills, chip and seal roads, and nice scenery. There was a cool climb to the top of South Holston Dam. I was enjoying it so much that I even smiled and went about my day when I encountered Ms. 145-freakin’-degree-latte stopped in the middle of the road, at the top of a hill, clogging everyone’s path while she consulted her map.
Let me diverge from my travelogue — because frankly, how much of a blow-by-blow do you really want anyway? — and point out some of the idiocyncracies of riding with 2,000 other people:
- There is a small but dangerous subculture of the cycling community that sees no harm in stopping in the middle of the road, whenever and wherever they like, because there can’t possibly be anyone else trying to cycle down said road.
- Though you may pass many a rider when pointed uphill, those same riders will bomb past you on every descent and you will learn what scary bike handling looks like.
- Many riders appear to assume that Bike VA is merely an extension of their local ride, and that all riders are bound by the rules of that local ride. You will get yelled at for ignoring one or more of those rules.
- There are two ways to signal that you are passing another rider. The polite way ("On your left!") and the accurate way ("Hold your line! There are two thousand other cyclists on this road with you, so don’t act surprised when one of them passes you!").
Does that sound negative? Perish the thought.
Really, and I’ve made this point before, it’s an exceptionally well-organized ride. The routes are great, support is great, the food this year was not bad (and I don’t mean that in a derogatory way), and the people along the route (volunteers, locals, etc) are fantastic. As organized rides go, it’s hard to beat.
John and I ended up with about 300 miles over the five days. There weren’t any major climbs, there was enough climbing to make each day’s ride a good workout. We ate some good food and listened to quite a bit of good music (in particular, check out the Dixie Bee Liners), stayed in a really nice little town (Abingdon, VA) and saw a lot of good scenery. Which is, in total, what these rides are all about.
