Breathless Update: Tour of America

And I thought the whole idea had disappeared. Guess not. Those lovable goofs at Aqu Sports are continuing on, like totally undeterred, in their quest to stage a Big Time bike race in the US. Something along the lines of the whole damn Pro Tour wrapped up in one convenient race. So you know it’s gotta work.

Cyclingnews is back on the story, and to help you read between the lines I offer this handy translation of Tour Director Frank Arokiasamy’s promoterspeak:

What he said: “Things are moving along really fast,” he said. “I say that with reservations,
because some [things] are slower.”
This meant: Things are really, really, really super-great, except for all the things (and there are a boatload of them) that aren’t. And there are more of those than I can ever imagine, and believe me, I haven’t gotten around to imagining them yet.

What he said (about finding sponsors): “It will probably be a little later than I expected.”
What he meant: Does prospective sponsors’ collective laughter mean no, or maybe?

What he said: “People are coming out of the woodwork
asking if they can help. We have around 200 volunteers around the country
so far, and I’m driving up to Augusta, Georgia, soon to meet with three
What he meant: Those three reside at the same secure facility for the criminally disturbed, so we’re working through some issues coordinating their visiting hours.

What he said: “We wrote to thirty-five top level teams
all over the world and we got ten replies in the first day.”
What he meant: I’m still reviewing those ten restraining orders and will reserve further comment.

Previous. More. More yet. And even more.

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